You're My Covering
There is not a day that goes by that I am not completely aware of my humanness (at some point).  I find that I typically approach this daily reality in one of two ways.  I either face it head on relying on what I know and trying my best, failing, getting upset at myself, which usually results in me being upset with everyone else, OR I sing in the shadow of His wings, trusting in who He is and what He has done for me.  Just like the old law was powerless, so am I, but thanks to God, He’s opened up a new and living way through Christ and put His Spirit in me- The same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead!  Hallelujah!

You Love Me
I’m amazed at how the Lord comes to me on my meanest of days and pours out His grace. It’s the ultimate pleasant surprise, to be loved when you’re unlovely.  This song is my life story.  I Cor. 13- God is love!

I secretly call this the laundry song, because I was having a really pitiful moment one afternoon while I was folding laundry- complaining in my heart.  I felt a tap on the shoulder of my spirit and heard Him whisper “I am here.”  That was all I needed to hear.  It changed everything in me.  HE IS WITH ME!!!  The mundane is no longer mundane because it’s not about me.  I asked the Lord to put a song in me heart to remind me of His presence, and to remind me that the true desire of my heart is to honor Him with every part of my life. Although our feelings are not invalid, they are not the ultimate reality.  One day we feel one way and the next day is different.  What stays the same is who He is and that He is with us and loves us!  My sweet smart 3 year old son was listening to this song the other day and said “Mommy, why do you need to get away?”  To which I replied, “The song said Sometimes I think I need to get away, but then Jesus reminds me that I can be happy where I am because He’s here with me.” And thankfully he said “OK”. 

You And Me
I was caught off guard one after noon by my flesh.  It upset me so much, and before I knew it I was spiraling down fast- getting pretty cynical.  “I thought you changed this in me Lord- where is the reality of your Spirit in my life?”  I was trying to pray in the midst of  anger and tears.  “God I just want to glorify you- change me.  Please change me!”  I felt the Lord say (in a nice wayJ) “Stop crying, and stop praying that”.  Once again I was caught off guard and was all ears.  I realized how truly selfish my prayer was- it was really mostly about me and the way I wished I behaved and that I want to perform perfectly!  The Lord showed me very clearly that I was making change my gauge for my relationship with Him, and if I’m making change my gauge, then any time I ever make a mistake I begin to doubt the reality of what God HAS done in me and become completely self focused and full of shame and frustration.  I am not good!  Only God is good!  Thankfully He does not have a gauge, or a score board, and he is not monitoring my behavior, AND He doesn’t want me to feel bad!  He is walking with me and loving me through every season.  He is an awesome Dad, and he is not mad at me!!!  I am so thankful for the changes that He has made in my life, but I am even more thankful for His love and acceptance regardless of whether I get it or not.  (There is so much I don’t get) I felt a huge weight lift from my chest, and my back, and my hands… He is with us, and He is for us! 

This song was originally just a chorus.  “Blessed is he who’s help is in the Lord…”  One day as I was singing the song,  I thought, “Well, good for us, but what about every one else?”   The Lord met me in my discontentment and gave me the rest of the song.  The brokenness of our world is astounding.  We are all longing for God and in need of His help, and his invitation to come is for everyone.


You Are
I was watching this really cool video one afternoon of someone doing missions work in Africa.   My instinct was to feel like I’m not doing enough for God, and to wish I had more time and recourses to do this or that.  Right away, I went to my knees and prayed a really nice, but guilt driven prayer, “…Here am I Lord, send me.  What ever You want me to do, I will do it.  What ever you say to me, I will listen.”  I heard the Lord say, “OK, go to the piano and I will tell you what I want to say to you.”  As I waited, listening for the “call” I heard Him say, “Monica, you are my delight, you are my friend, you are beautiful….your identity is not found in any form of success, your place is not on any platform or with any specific ministry.  Your place is right here, being with me.  Do not worry about how much you are or aren’t doing, but remain in me and you will bear much fruit.”   He spoke such a deep freedom into my heart that day.  It was a very cool Father/daughter moment! “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.”- Jesus 

For You
Our dear friends Bobby and Layne joined us for dinner one evening.  Bobby  was telling us about one of the movies that he was working on called Like Dandelion Dust.  It is a movie based on the Karen Kingsburry Novel. He mentioned that they were going to begin working on music and he asked me to take a stab at writing a song.  I had never sat down to intentionally write a song about something specific.  Usually it just comes from my life journey.  That night the Lord gave me a melody and lyrics that were beyond me.  It was a unique experience writing this song because I have never really personally experienced the pain of losing some one dear to me.  I sat at the piano and wept as the Lord shared this song with me.  It speaks of the amazing ability that God has to hold on to us It can be a hrd realization that sometimes we just can’t “fix” it, even if we use our every ounce of love, strength, and hope.  When we’ve exhausted our resources and efforts, that is often when we can see more clearly than ever, that God’s plan is so much greater than our own and He himself is the fullness of love and strength and hope, and His resources can not be exhausted.  Right along side that hard realization, comes a sweet relief.  The burden is lifted, and we can rest in the knowledge of His love and sovereignty.

God Of Mine
My son Solomon wrote this song (lyrics and melody) when he was 5 years old- seriously!  I added the second verse to it, but He pretty much wrote it in one moment, spontaneously.   I happened to have my recorder nearby!  Solomon wrote this song as he was going through his first year of school and learning about friendship.  He would always tell me, “Jesus is really really my true best friend, and I can’t wait to see Him someday in heaven.”

There Is A Place
This song was written during a time of deep personal struggle and pain.  The Lord used this song to speak comfort and healing to my heart; reminding me of His constant love and faithfulness.  As He spoke these truths of who He is for me I experienced real strength, comfort, and healing….and then a couple months later… WHAM! I was hit again with the same circumstances that seemed to bring in a flood of pain and confusion.  I began to feel hopeless against the situation and I sensed the Lord leading me to call a wise and trusted friend.  As the Lord led her, she poured in to me and shared from 1 Peter 2 & 3.  After I said good bye, my heart went back to the song the Lord had given me months before, and as I began to sing the truths to my own heart the song grew and the Lord gave me the words and melody to the bridge:  “I will put my hope in You, no matter what I must go through.  And I will not give way to fear, for You are here.  You are here, faithful God. Where ever we are, what ever we face, His is our trusted place of refuge, comfort, and acceptance.  

As a free spirited, mother of three, I don’t really have any sort of daily time set aside for uninterrupted quit time with the Lord.  So, when He says, “Come away, my beloved”, I am there in a flash!  These are the sweetest times on earth to me.  To hear the God of the universe tap on my window and serenade me on a day that I would have stamped “FAILURE”, and hear Him say “You are altogether lovely”, is incomparable.  I am so thankful for the relationship that God offers us.  He is so loving and so good!